The Mindset Spot

When life breaks you, you don’t hide—you learn, focus, and build again

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Breakage isn’t the end of your story; it’s the draft of your blueprint. We dive into how to rebuild with clarity after rejection, failure, and the quiet losses no one posts—by asking better questions, designing better systems, and stacking small wins that restore confidence. We unpack the mindset shift from “Why me?” to “What is this teaching me?” and show how pain becomes useful when it is processed into lessons, safeguards, and focused action. From discipline that outlasts dopamine to time as the real currency of growth, we map the levers you control and how to use them when outcomes aren’t in your hands.

Along the way, we challenge the “chase everything” myth. Focus doesn’t shrink your world; it compounds your impact. You build a core you can be known for, then diversify from strength. We talk honestly about social media’s highlight reels, how algorithms nudge attention away from truth, and practical filters to protect your priorities. Preparation beats wishful thinking; systems beat moods; and staying in your lane clears the traffic of comparison so you can move.

We also spotlight mentorship that’s earned by scars, not slogans—what to look for in a guide, how to start mentoring even if you’re early, and why sharing lived experience can spare someone else needless mistakes. The thread through it all is agency: use what you have, where you are, to create momentum. Broken doesn’t mean finished; it means you’re becoming. If this conversation moved you, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one lesson you’re putting into practice this week.

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SPEAKER_00:

Hello everyone, welcome to our conversation today, Saturday, the 11th October 2025. You join here with my host, Daniel Afum Bomuna. Afu, how are you?

SPEAKER_01:

Hello, everyone. I hope you're doing well. It's so excited to have this episode today. So let's get started.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's get started indeed. And the starting off wouldn't have been more exciting to be on a topic that we all would love to have a conversation with our fans, which is when life breaks, you don't hide, you build again. And what that means is that this is coming at a time in which a lot of people across the continent, even the world, maybe going through something that have broken, whether it is a dream or it is a sense of who they thought they were. And maybe it's the silence after rejection, the word of failure no one sees, and the tears that never makes it to the social media. So Afu, today, as we discuss how life uh has a way of shaking people, of stripping away comfort sometimes. What says you about this topic?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think that's a very good topic because everyone has gone through failures, and a lot of the time people have the pressure to feel that they need everything to be figured out and to feel that they are quote unquote striving and moving forward, which it's important to move forward, but we have to first be honest with ourselves. We have to realize that there will be setbacks, but we must be able to build resilience and have perseverance to overcome.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that there will be setbacks, and we must be able to build resilience. And a lot of people who are listening at the moment across the entire globe may be asking the very simple question of how do I get back? Right? There is always that question, how do I get back? So now let's talk about how rebuilding connects to growth. So, especially skills and purpose. What does learning play when you are trying to build again? So, what do you think those who have lost it all, what do they need to do? Because some people say, I don't, I can't learn again. I did everything and I felt. So, no need for me trying.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think that what we first have to do is to first learn what went wrong so that we don't repeat the same mistakes. Once we learn what went wrong, then we can start to brainstorm what we can do to make sure that doesn't happen again.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And commonly attributed to Albert Einstein, he says, if you fail 99 times, you know that there's there's 99 ways to not do something, essentially. So by learning what went wrong first, then you will be able to create something that is innovative and to create something that has a higher chance of working. Because if you keep on doing the same thing, it failed once, the likelihood of it failing again is very high. So we must be innovative and look inwards to see what can make us stand out.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. I love that perspective. So the point you are trying to make is very clear, and I think that it's quite very, very instrumental because learning is everything, as you've rightly said it. And so when we are rebuilding, our mindsets need to become our greatest tools, and that is where the issue usually is, because a lot of people ask the question, why me? Which to me, starting asking that question, why me is already a failure in the in the first instance. So we need to start asking, What can I learn from this? Because every time life breaks down or breaks someone's down, they need to understand that asking what can I learn from this, then they grow a new skill, a new resilience, a new empathy, and a new leadership aspect that they must have picked from that. And so these become the foundation for growth. And that takes me now to the heart of the discussion, Afu, which is now very instrumental based on what you have mentioned. So, do you think that pen can be used as gain from the perspective that the same fire that burns can also refine? How do you think people can start to see pen as gain?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, 100%. I'm gonna use a practical example. Let's say you work super duper hard on an assignment and you don't get the mark that you'd like, and you have a test coming up, instead of being upset, it's okay to be upset. You tried your best. However, instead of just be feeling sorry for yourself, what it's important to do is to turn that fuel into motivation to study astronomically hard for that upgrading test so that you can then succeed and achieve what you'd like to. So using just one example to elaborate is important because it's it's important because we must realize that instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and instead of dwelling on what went wrong, we can use it as a stepping stone to make things go the right way. And sometimes things are out of our control, but we must focus on what we can control to be able to maximize our effort. Because let's say you have something that let's say you have an interview. At the end of the day, if you get the job or not, it's not really the final decision, isn't yours. But what you can control is how much you prepare and how much you study so that whether you get it or you don't get it, you feel fulfilled knowing that you gave it your all. So that's what I would recommend to people who are figuring out a way to turn pain into gain.

SPEAKER_00:

Excellent. A very good point uh that you've brought up there. It's uh very, very inspiring because what you have said is really true. If people do not leverage the lessons they have learned in the process of failing, in the process of pain, then definitely they cannot be able to move forward in a very uh positive way because positive competition or positive attitude in any failure is actually the foundation for progressive transformation. And so that now brings me to the point whereby a lot of people who maybe fell or maybe face difficulties with life on its own, it's a difficult process which everybody needs to navigate. Does giving up add any value?

SPEAKER_01:

I know it's a very cliche saying, but it's uh crucial to never give up. And giving up, although it may seem like um the most accessible option or the easiest option, it's important to keep on pushing. And although it's easier said than done, we must realize that if we give up, that sense of what if will ponder and dwell within your headspace. But if you choose to take action and keep on going, then you will know whether you've gotten it or you haven't. For example, let's say you keep on thinking, oh, what if I applied to this job? Maybe I could have gotten it. But if you applied and you got it, you know that I've gotten the job, or if you applied and didn't get it, you know that you've put everything in that whether you got it or not, get it, it's all it like was out of your control at that point. So it's important to think long term, and it's okay to face doubt, but it's not okay to give up.

SPEAKER_00:

I like the point that you said it's okay to face doubt, but it's not okay to give up. Now how about to you Afu?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so I was so over my course of hosting the mindset spot, I've seen I've heard countless stories which are testaments to resilience. And your story in particular, as well, is also a testament to resilience. So I was wondering what kept you going throughout your process, innovative volunteerism and the mindset spot sustainability. What was that flame that was still ignited even in the depths of freezing rain?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, a very important question, and I think the underlying answer to your question, though I will expand, is adversity. When you face adversity, then you understand that the only way out of adversity is to look forward, not backwards, and leverage the lessons out of that adversity to be able to move forward. And what I mean by adversity here is pretty much we grew up not having what many would call today three square meals, what we'll call today Log Zero's life, having shoes, having uniform, went to school, never been driven from school, all those things were the opposite of what we faced. And it's not because there was anything we could have done about it, it was because that was where we were and that was the stage. And so we learned to survive. So any human being who has gone through survival is the most resilient and the most uh industrious, and that person can be able to survive and strive anywhere. And so, because of that, it built resilience from the perspective of using little to do more, of seeing opportunity in challenges, and the ability to be able to know that you have to work very hard before you can succeed. And those are the ingredients that were born out of resilience. And so, to answer your questions, the ability to be able to move forward despite the challenges that might be on any part comes from the perspective that we already face those challenges even worse than what we face today. And because of that, then we were prepared. And so it goes to your point that we made earlier that pain can be turned to gain by not looking at what caused the pain, but from the lessons that came through the pen, how can we liberate them so that we don't repeat or don't go down that path? And that gives the ability to never give up, regardless of hard situation. The second aspect is that there is no challenge that a human being cannot solve. Actually, most challenges are as a result of humans causing them. That means the solution to those challenges will definitely come from humans. And if that mindset is constructed from the perspective that we can solve anything that happens, then definitely we will not be afraid of any challenge, and every challenge will then become a disguised opportunity. And that takes me to the third point. When we look at anything as why is this happening to me, rather than what can I learn from this? You see, it becomes one word that I use perspective. So, what is perspective? Perspective is how you see things. So I see opportunity, some people see challenges, or I see challenges, some people see opportunity. So to answer your question, I leverage perspective more from a positive perspective to be able to move forward.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. I like that leveraging perspective from a positive perspective, which I think is very important. And I want to delve in on that because even when you're doing something, for example, let's say you're studying all the time, people may see that some people's perspective on that may be you're wasting your prime, right? But another perspective, which is generally the perspective that the person working towards it has, is I'm building my future, right? And those two things tend to clash a lot of the time. And it's very difficult to find a balance or to not even find a balance, but to remain steadfast in your decision. So, what would you say to people who are going through dilemmas of clashing perspectives? And how would you encourage them to remain steadfast on their journey?

SPEAKER_00:

I think the easiest answer to that is priorities are self-determined. And unless people actually focus on making sure that their priorities are what they see as their stepping stones to the next step, then they don't know where they're going. Prioritizing is the only way you can be able to move forward. We all have 24 hours a day, and the 24 hours, whether you are a minister or a prime minister or a president or a governor, it doesn't matter. Or whether you are a cattle rearing owner of chicken or a farmer, 24 hours a day. And because of that, you have to prioritize, and prioritization is something that is the core of how we move forward. But they need one word discipline. What is discipline? Discipline is the ability to do what needs to be done, whether you feel happy or not, or whether you are inspired or motivated or not. It is doing the right thing because by not doing it, you get restricted to where you are. That you must get up at 6 a.m. in the morning, whether you are feeling like getting up or not. That's discipline. That you must be able to do your sports at 7 a.m. in the morning, whether you feel like getting up or not. That's discipline. It's doing that which nobody is watching you, but you do it anyway. And as a result of just being disciplined, of not eating much, of going to bed early, of waking up early, of reading, even when your friends are out there drinking and dancing. You say, I'm not going to go out. Discipline to say no when it is easier to say yes, the discipline to read, even when it doesn't feel like doing that. The discipline to know that without doing this, I lose time. That takes me now to the second point. Time is actually the biggest currency that we underestimate. Without utilizing time to learn something that you don't know, you wouldn't be able to get the skill. And without getting the skill, you cannot attract value. That means you will not get money. So people always talk of money as currency. The biggest currency is time. And therefore, if we utilize time effectively, which needs discipline, then definitely we will be creating more opportunities because time is currency. And the last aspect is to be able to be disciplined, it takes a lot of humility. The humility to be able to humble yourself and know that it's not been in every space, that you can then be able to thrive, but it is being in your environment of your own self that you can be able to focus to get what you don't have so that tomorrow, when you are present in any space, you can be able to move forward.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And I think the key aspect that you mentioned, which definitely will resonate with a lot of individuals, is discipline. Because especially as you move on, let's say the transition from high school to university or university to the working space, as you enter higher levels of academic and professional spaces, there is less patting on the back, and there is less, for example, did you do your homework or yeah, did you submit the assignment on time? A lot of it has to come intrinsically. And if you whether you do it or don't do it, nobody's gonna come for you. The results are just gonna be whether you get that job, whether you get that good grade, whether you get that internship opportunity, which is something a lot of people fail to realize. And I was wondering how would you tell people who are still stuck in that bubble that it's I need to be reminded? How can we move from that, from the external pressures rather to not necessarily pressure, but the motivation coming from internal rather than external?

SPEAKER_00:

The reality is that you cannot be able to become disciplined based on motivation or inspiration, it must be a self-cultivated attitude that you have to do it because your survival depends on it. And that doesn't need motivation because motivation comes and goes, but discipline is supposed to be a common denominator. Even if you notice, a lot of people get motivated and inspired as a result of the release of dopamine, which comes because of something exciting, and it comes and goes. So let's take, for example, somebody studies for his or her exam, and in the process of studying, he or she gets up at night. That person is not motivated and happy at that time because he or she would have been sleeping. But by studying, you get a mark that is highest, you become excited and so happy. Dopamine is released, but the process of getting to get that mark was never an easy one, and it was nothing that you were really motivated about. What does this tell you? Motivation is actually just an aspect, but it is not a common denominator for a human being to be able to move to the higher stage. Because if you want to get happy when you have money, then it means that your happiness will be fluctuating because you are not going to have money all the time. But you can then be able to have money by not being happy because you have to lock in to read and even study at times that you yourself don't like. So, what this means is that the pathway to progress is one in which we are supposed to become disciplined. And discipline in this case means we need to understand we will not always be happy and excited and motivated all the time, but we have to do what is needed to get us to where we need to go. And because of that, where we need to go should become our ultimate inspiring and motivating arena so that we work so hard to get there and focus our excitement towards that common goal. But if excitement is that if I'm not happy today, I cannot do it, then definitely you lose it. And this is the common knowledge that a lot of people out there may not have because we've been told for quite a very long time that we can be able to get it without necessarily putting in the effort. And effort is not how many hours you work, it's about focus to do that which you can become best in it. Today, a lot of people want to do everything, they want to be journalists at the same time, they want to be teachers, at the same time, they want to be medical doctors, at the same time, they want to be lawyers. They say he who chases two rabbits ends up catching none.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh awesome, and I think that the analogy you gave of he who chases two rabbits catches none is very important because no one's saying that you have to pick what you want to be right right now. Nobody's saying that, right? But what is being discussed is that once you have a goal, it's important to stick to stay to it. If you have a goal of making an impact, all of a sudden you shouldn't be trying to focus on making an impact and also the casualties that are on the side, right? Nobody is saying to have tunnel vision, but I think that what we're trying to display is that once we have a goal, we must try to encompass everything and weave everything from different aspects to be able to align with it. Let's say you want to make an impact, start by making an impact at home, start by making an impact in the classroom, in the community, all different things. You don't have to necessarily be locked into a career path or locked into a passion, but locked into the idea of making an impact and positively affecting those around you.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that. So let me ask you this question now. A lot of people listen and they will say it's because you had an easy background, and these are usually seen superficially and from the surface, not knowing what goes in in terms of guidance. So, what would you tell somebody who is listening and saying, Oh, your bread is already bought at that's why you can speak as you can speak, that's why you can do as you do. Is that really realistic? What can you say to somebody who says that kind of thing?

SPEAKER_01:

I think that when people say things like that, it's very important to realize that the frustration, I don't think it's necessarily personal. What I do think is just accumulation of different frustrations. Then everybody, no matter your background, everybody faces adversity. Some people may not face adversity in the sense of have not having three square meals a day or not having shoes to go to school, but adversity is still prevalent. And no matter where you are, there are times where you won't feel motivated. And it's important to realize that through guidance, through listening, through understanding, and through having that drive and that grit to persevere even when times are tough, is something that no matter your background or no matter if you're bred with quote unquote butter, is things that you have to work towards. Nobody comes zero to a hundred, it's a process for everybody. And through that process, the end result, it can be different for different people, but the process of achieving your dream and the process of remaining resilient is something that transcends beyond socioeconomic or transcends beyond geographic backgrounds.

SPEAKER_00:

That's very important. And so now, what would you say? Based on this discussion, now we have a lot of young people, some of them are in high school, some of them are getting to university, but they're young and they're seeing the world moving so fast, and they feel that artificialness of the world that at least that's how it's supposed to be. So they chased it, and the chasing is never ending. Don't you think that they're misleading themselves? But before we get to that, I think you should read this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so we have a question from Honorable Ayeo Zerli. Thank you so much for tuning in. And she says, How can one rebuild him or herself with resilience and strength when he or she has been knocked down completely? And um, thank you so much for that question. We answered it a bit previously, but to build off on that, I'd like to say first it's honesty. You have to realize where you have gone wrong and realize that there are things that need to be improved on because a lot of the time people are in denial or the the blame shifts, or it wasn't my fault. And nobody is saying that you intentionally failed, but we have to realize the things that might have hindered your success and really introspect. And what we also have to realize is that it's important it's important to know that you don't need to have everything figured out in an instant, and we must all grow at our own pace. So to rebuild yourself with resilience, we must pick up the pieces and understand that setbacks are not permanent, setbacks are a part of the process. And once we realize that, then strength and resilience will come naturally as you consider, as you continue to rather ascend.

SPEAKER_00:

Excellent. I think you've put it so nicely, Afu. And uh I think the only aspect that I would like to add to that would be to just re-echo what you've said, because she is asking how can one reveal himself or herself with resilience and strength when he or she has been knocked down completely. And what you've said is what we've been saying. Knocking being knocked down is a pathway of how life is, and what matters in that process is the lessons you learn from it. And the key point is you should never ask why me, you should ask what is this teaching me. And once you do that, you turn pain into gain. And this is where a lot of people miss it. They always look at why me, which then keeps them in that state of pain rather than what is this teaching me and what lessons can I pick from this so that at least I can move forward. And that's what rebuilding is about, that's what's how resilience comes, that's how strength is gathered, and by doing that, we can move forward. I think for quite a very long time, we've not been taught either in schools or even in our community, in churches, in schools, in our uh gatherings, in our communal communities, in different perspectives on how we should never ever weaver to see the good in any difficulty. But we've most of the time be labeled to focus ourselves to see the bad, which then cannot move us forward, and then we remain in that state of being grounded by what had happened rather than building on the lessons to take us forward. Because in every challenge there is a disguised opportunity, in every problem, there is a disguised opportunity, in every pen, there is an opportunity to gain something that can take you forward. So, Afu, in addition to that, I'll now take us back to where we always go to, which is social, social media, social media. Of course, we're utilizing it to have this conversation, but social media is utilized today to communicate. Do you think what is communicated through social media is optimal? Because I'm bringing this up because the inundation of information, some not necessarily always needed, seems to be such that the proliferation of what goes at that never is really beneficial, is going at in truths that the consumption of a woman, especially young people, and they tend also to live their life based on what they see, not based on reality. How do you navigate these two worlds and how can you guide somebody on how they can navigate them?

SPEAKER_01:

That's an excellent question. And before I delve into that, I was just thinking, and um, I always remember when me and my classmates we always used to say, once you're rock bottom, you can only go up. So linking it back to the previous question. Yeah, my classmates and I, we always used to say it after maybe a test or something didn't go as planned. Once you're rock bottom, you can only go up. So no matter what you're going through, no matter what you're going through, or no matter how tough things may seem, if you genuinely feel like life is not going great, it can't really get much worse, right? So we we must focus on what we can control and try to elevate through each and every step, no matter how big or how small. But linking back to the question you asked about social media, I think that, like I said previously, there's been an increasing pressure to figure things out and to feel as if you have all your ducks lined up in a row and everything is a hundred percent. And social media really amplifies this sentiment because you see posts of I've gotten this uh accomplishment or that or seeing on LinkedIn or or Twitter or Instagram or so many other platforms seeing other people's successes. It's very important to celebrate other people's successes and it's very important to gain inspiration. But what should not be occurring is that feeling, feeling bad about yourself because everybody's on their unique path. And that's one thing that I strive to resonate with other people and also to remind myself that everybody's on their own path to success. And the whole point of these platforms, which is what I always say, is to highlight your best moments, which is a hundred percent correct, but we must also realize that people aren't going to be posting most of the time the process, mainly the outcomes. And we must understand that through this, we must focus on developing our own process and understanding that it's unique to us and we should be happy with the growth that we're able to accomplish through it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, perfect. That's a very, very excellent. I think that this is a very timely conversation. But the point is social media as it is, have what is called algorithms, and those algorithms strive sometimes to drive what people are showing interest on. And if you look at what a lot of people show interest on, it's not necessarily what is realistic that can be able to move a needle. So the question then becomes do you think people have been misled sometimes to follow things just because they're trending without necessarily holding back to ask the question, do I need this?

SPEAKER_01:

A hundred percent. I think that a lot of the time, I'm not gonna necessarily say to the person, but a lot of the time the eagerness to succeed can sometimes come at a detriment by just mindlessly following things. And it's very important to do your own diligence and do and understand what aligns best with your path to success, because what may work for someone else, everybody has a different skill set. So what may work for person A may not be most fitted to person B. So finding what works for you and being able to discern what is great, because not every opportunity you have to take. It's important to seize the opportunity that best align with you, but it's not everything that you have to do. So by staying in your own lane and focusing on your own future and focusing on how to impact your community and make tangible change is something that is especially important. Because if you're in your own lane, there's no traffic.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. If you are on your own lane, there's no traffic, and if you uh stop on your own lane to watch people on their different lane, you may end up actually not only delaying yourself, but slow down your own progress of where you were going to go. And that takes me now to the point which I think a lot of people need to understand the presentation of fantasy versus reality, and that seems to drive a knots on so many people, especially the young people, where they see what sometimes is projected, but it is not really what needs to be done, and because of that, then they tend to take what is projected to mean its reality. How do we handle that?

SPEAKER_01:

That's a very important question because, especially with the rise of social media, and the more things that are shared, the more likeliness for misinformation. And it's very important for us to, like I said previously, to discern and to understand that everybody's on their unique path to success. And by young people understanding that and by really embodying that and staying within their own pace, we must be able to then inspire other people because no matter what you're doing, there's probably someone who's looking up to you, but you just don't know it. So we must stay in our own line and focus on doing what is correct rather than what is trending.

SPEAKER_00:

What is correct rather than what is trending? Very, very important aspect. And uh I can see who is joining from Kenya, Ndugu, Mambo, Habariako, Karibu, ask a question to the conversation or add perspective so that at least we can keep going. So Afu, what says you on the aspect of without effort, there can be achievement, right? That life is supposed to be easy, but yet the effort doesn't match what is expected. Is that a policy?

SPEAKER_01:

100%. I think that it's important to realize that you can't start a car without gas. Well, I mean you can now because we have to do that. I love that. The point still stands. You can't start a car without an energy source. It's very important to realize that in order for you to achieve what you're yearning for, there must be some effort put into it. Because although you may not put effort at one stage of your life, the world is ever is the competition is growing every single day. So you must be able to keep up. And the only way to keep up is by matching the effort with your intended output. So we must move away from the sense of, oh, I don't need to try, and move towards the attitude of I must put effort because even though I'm naturally good at this thing, somebody who's not as good if they put enough effort could beat me. And it's not about beating other people, it's just about maximizing your full potential. And the only way to maximize your full potential is to combine your natural gifts with dedicated effort.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think that is a comment from Honorable Zilla. You read it and then take it the first tap and then I come in.

SPEAKER_01:

She says, in a society we live to in the society we live in today, many young people and elders are saying it's good to chase many paths than one path. We provide clarity to the saying. So I think that is very important to understand the nuance of this. Obviously, it's important to have a plan B, like not be like super duper tonal vision. But what we have to realize is that it's not one path as in one career path or many paths that we're not necessarily talking about career, we're talking about the passion and the impact and what makes you you chasing the brand. Because if you're chasing one brand, that's important, one brand of being known for your sustainability, being known for your kindness, being known for your resilience. And that can be shown through many different paths, whether it's your professional path, your athletic path, your path with your friendships and your relationships. So my clarification on this is that when we say one path, it's the path on your brand and who you are as a person, rather than just a career path or the educational path.

SPEAKER_00:

That's correct. And uh, to add my voice to that, what is the most important aspect is that you if you chase two rabbits, you end up catching none. And what this really entails is about being focused. Yeah, I my grandmother used to say a rolling stone gathers no mosque, which means if you are everywhere, then you end up being nowhere. There is a difference between diversification and actually chasing many parts. You can only diversify when you already have built something, and then you diversify your skills to have skills maybe in mechanic, in electricity, in carpentry. But you can only do that when maybe you've built yourself around carpentry and know that understanding building construction is important, understanding electrical wiring is important, but in all of these, you must always showcase what is your expertise. So being everywhere doesn't guarantee being an expert, like they will end up saying, like they used to say as we were growing up, jack of all trades and master of none. And so it is not in chasing that makes you an expert, but it is in focus that then you become an expert in a particular thing, but on top of that, you can then add some value in understanding other areas. That is how it works. So the clarification is quite very simple. It is not moving around because they usually say that a dancer must know the kind of music he or she dances. If a dancer can dance, try to dance everything, but it's not perfect in all of those, then the person who is perfect in dancing just one will win the prize over.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, awesome. And I think that's very important to realize that the brand that you'd like to create is to be able to transcend across the diverse interests you're pursuing. Like, let's say you want to be known as a resilient person, your resilience, whether I know you from playing soccer with you or I know you as a colleague, I should be able to say, wow, I know this person as a resilient, diligent hard worker. And that should be able to be seen in all aspects. So that's what we mean by chasing one path. And I'm glad to see the engagement. Thank you guys so much for commenting. And please share your perspective, share your ideas, share your thoughts, and share any questions you may have because this is a an international discussion for leveraging the power of innovative volunteerism. Another thing that's very important is the ability to have discernment, to understand what is very what are your priorities, and from there be able to amplify them. Because let's say you have, for example, a bunch of passions, your priority should be able to make an impact and to leverage those skills and also mentor other people because mentorship is a key factor, which is what I'd like to transcend this into. Mentorship is especially important because if you have all these talents, you should be able to give back to the community that once gave back to you. So, my question for you, Dr. Menang, is how have you found the impact of mentorship? And what would you say to other people who don't know how to begin their mentorship journey?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, very important. And um, the core of making progress on anything is to leverage on the experiences of those who have already gone ahead, and that's where mentorship comes in. Nobody should be able to say he or she is a mentor when he or she have never gone through something. So, what are you mentoring? Yeah, and that's the starting point. What are you mentoring? Where are you as cars? Show me your scars, then I can believe you. Show me the shoe, and where the shoe hurt you, that you can tell me don't wear that shoe. And therefore, mentorship is actually supposed to be a sort of transferable ability of results or transferring lessons from someone's else's part to help others not to make the same mistakes. That's what mentorship is about. Anything less than that is just noise. And therefore, to answer your question, the power of mentorship is actually underrated. There is actually fuel when it comes to mentorship that people can then be able to be guided not to commit the mistakes that others committed, that it can then be able to be focused. So, with mentorship, it makes the lives of the mentees easier because they don't have to repeat those mistakes. It means that for them to go to the top, it becomes very easy. And therefore, utilizing mentorship as a tool to drive progress in others is the best way forward that even money can never buy. Because what is mentorship? People bring their experiences, hard-earned experiences, lessons they've gone through, pain they have endured, and from that pain they gain experience, but then they ditch it hard to make sure that you never go through that pain. Therefore, mentorship is supposed actually to become the core focus of each and everyone to find somebody who cannot teach him or her what they went through, not what they feel, not how they feel. How you feel and explaining is not mentorship. So when people come to say something, always ask them, show me your scars. Because with that scars, what are you mentoring? It's like trying to say people should come and drink when you are not the one who is producing the drinks.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. And I think um, just to clarify, we don't we don't mean physical scarf, we don't mean that it's just an analogy to say that everybody who's mentoring must have some lived experience to be able to relay onto the future generation.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think it's the the example of saying drink, I mean the drink knowledge, the fountain of knowledge. You cannot say that I need to offer a lesson when you yourself have never taught, right? You you you you you cannot be able to give what you yourself don't have, and therefore, mentorship is actually giving what you yourself have that have been learned through experiences. Anything less than that is a joke. And so, if somebody says, let's say, for example, somebody says he's a therapist, has that person studied uh therapy and has he or she given that therapy to other people and learned from it? If a person says he or she is a teacher, has he ever lectured in university or in high school or in secondary school? If somebody says he or she is married counsel, I mean legal. Right, has he or she ever understand that through the made sure that he has been able to go through the stages of a marriage? So if somebody says he is a travel advisor or advisor, has he or she ever traveled before? Or if he or she traveled, what are the lessons uh did he study travel and hospitality in school or at a university? So the point I'm trying to make is very simple. You cannot give what you don't have, and you cannot drink from an empty cup. It's as simple as that. You can only pour out what you have, and if you don't have it and you have listened somewhere, that is called conmanship.

SPEAKER_01:

It's awesome to know that you are very passionate about this topic. And one thing that I'd like to one thing that I'd like to add to add to this is that the power of you, it's very important to understand what you bring to the table and what if there's no table, become the table. And what I'd like to incorporate is that some people feel that, like you said, oh, you need a degree in this, you need a degree in that. No, it's that it's not that's it's not the case, that's really not the case, in my opinion, and based on my knowledge, is that depending on your community, every community needs a leader, every young people, for example, you could be in high school and just mentor elementary school students about the process and things to know when you're going into high school. Things are very important in different contexts, and we must be able to understand what makes us unique and understand our community and help our community for them to also continue the cycle of peer mentorship. And my question for you is what would you say to people who have the skills but are too afraid to be able to transfer that into mentorship or the role and stepping into the leadership role?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, um, afo there was a short disconnection, and then you were bringing up a very important point. Just repeat it.

SPEAKER_01:

So, my question was what would you say to people who are currently scared to step into that leadership role and step into mentorship? And what advice would you have for people who are being mentored who would also like to step into that role in the future?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, the reality is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. So the first mentorship step should be for you to build yourself to have something to offer to people. Period. Value can only be given from a giver, and that the person who gives have something to give. This is the easiest analogy. You can't be giving me bananas when you don't have bananas. Where will you first of all get the bananas to give me? Grow bananas and then harvest bananas, or buy bananas and have them and say, I'm giving you bananas. But the question is that if you buy them, then it means that you always have to buy each and every time you have to give me bananas. But if you grow them, you will have bananas, a plantation that you can always harvest anytime and give. And what does that mean? Cultivate knowledge, learn, grow in the process, and become a pro in that, and then you can always give. That is very, very important. And I think if we understand that we can only give when we are able to have what we are able to give in terms of knowledge, in terms of ideas, in terms of experience, then we'll be able to create a society that is more progressive, it's more unifying, and it's more transparent. But now that takes me to a question to ask you as we have about 15 minutes to run up, which I think is very, very important, and a lot of people maybe uh listening and might not have answers to this, but it's not directly under this topic, but it's correlated in one way or the other. There is what is called soft life, and soft life sometimes has been cajoled to be like the norm. What do you think is the missing link in this equation? Because when it comes to mathematics, if you take a quadratic equation, if you start to solve any equation from the answer, if you knew the answer, definitely there's no need for you to even be solving anything. But how do we start solving from an answer when a question was asked to find X, but then we already have X? Soft life means you want something easy, but to get that thing you want was never produced through an easy process. So why don't we start from the process?

SPEAKER_01:

That's a very important question. And before I delve into that, I just wanted to provide an example on my personal mentorship journey because I'm the founder of the Innovative Mindset Initiative, and part of what I do is I mentor youth in local community centers about the importance of sustainability, entrepreneurship, and goal setting. And it's very important because without my past experiences doing sewing and doing the innovative mindset initiative and collaborating and volunteering and having that global experience, I would not have been able to teach the kids in my community because I would just be speaking from theory rather than lived experience, which is very important. But to answer your question, I think that it's very important. There's nothing wrong with lucking nice things. Like everybody, you know, like it's it's important to have goals, but we must do, like I said, you can't start a car without energy. You need you need something, whether it's an electric car or hybrid, a diesel gas, it's the car cannot start with zero tank, zero tank. Same thing you can't get to a destination, which I guess your destination would be quote unquote soft life without having that um energy, and the only way to get that energy is through hard work.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, the point is this it's not about not liking or liking, so it's about so let's say that there is a in a community, there is litter everywhere, plastics and waste, and everyone in that community loves a beautiful environment, which everybody there's nothing wrong to love a beautiful environment. But before you reach that beautiful environment, there needs to be the clean up of the plastic waste, the garbage. So, why don't we start by saying let's gather every Saturday morning to clean it up? What is so difficult about that? Rather than just talking about this tan is dirty, we want it clean, we want it clean, we want it clean. So that's the point. The the the and therefore, soft life is the same thing, right? I want this, but I you're not doing something to get there. So that is the point. And my question was how do we bridge the gap between always wanting but not putting the effort or matching the effort to reach where they want to go? Goals are okay, but goals on their own can never be achieved without effort. And effort is not a goal, it's the fuel that you put on the car before the car moves.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, awesome. And I think that's very important, like you said, to understand that it's okay to like things, like it's okay to like a clean environment, it's okay to think, but we must be able to think from a solutions-oriented mindset that, oh, I don't currently have this. Instead of thinking like that, think of what do I have and what can I contribute. And that's where the power of innovative volunteerism comes in, leveraging what you have. Because let's say with a community cleanup, you could say, I don't have this skill, I don't have this big sanitation machine, but think about what you do have. You do have a skill, use that skill you learned maybe from your household, learning how to clean, learning how to sweep, learning how to mop, turn that into a way to solve your community's problems. And even from there, you could even start a social entrepreneurship business and empower other people in your community to take action to create cleaner, more sustainable spaces. And that's just one example out of the plethora that we could start lifting. But it all comes down to using what you have and using the unique skills and talent that you possess in order to leverage yourself and encourage other people to create solutions that benefit your community. Let's say, even from a school example, it's important to think, for example, let's say there's a club, there's not enough leadership in it, you can step into that role and you can step into learning about it. And from there, you can inspire other classmates to then begin an initiative that benefits your entire school and your entire district. So these are all examples, which all come down to figuring out what I can use my skills for and how can I bring value to my community and make a positive impact.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. How can I bring value to my community and make a positive impact? As we round up now, Afu, I believe these discussions are making positive impact in different communities. So, what's your last word?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, thank you so much for coming this far, for listening all this way. It's very important that we have you guys to continue to enrich this conversation. And to everyone who's watching and to all the listeners, start with you. I always say that, but it's the power of you. When things get hard, which they inevitably will, be honest, understand what went wrong, and use your unique skills to focus on what you can do to make it go as you'd like the next time. And you may feel that pressure that everybody else is succeeding but me, but it's important to realize that when you remain in your own lane, there is no traffic. And once you figure out what makes you unique and figure out how to brand yourself, that no matter which facet you're looking at, whether it's academic, professionally, athletically, that people know you for who you are and for your impact in your community. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00:

For the impact in your community, what a beautiful way to put this up. And as we close and building on your words, Afu for all of you who are listening and have tweeted in, remember this being broken is not a sign of weakness, as you've all heard today. It's a sign that you have been through something real. And being through something, when you go through something, you get experience, and from that you learn and grow, and that's gain. So every pain produces a gain, and that gain means every scar, every failure, everything you've gone through is evident that you tried, it's evident that you learn, it's evident that you showed up in a world that sometimes forgets to be gentle, and from there you learn. And when you learn and have experience, it becomes very, very important because every time you rise after being broken, you are teaching someone else that they can rise to, and you are turning your pen into a road map for someone to be able to learn from it and grow. And I think from what you've listened today, resilience isn't about what you lost, it's about what you decide to create next, it's about the lessons you learn, and always remember broken doesn't mean finished, it means you are still becoming. Let me repeat that broken doesn't mean you are finished, it means you are becoming, it means you gained lessons. And thank you all for listening and for sharing this moment of truth with us. And please share so that others can learn from what we've conversed here today. And if this episode touched you, share it because your story might be the light someone else needs to uh to hear today. Until next time, keep believing, keep building, and keep being you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you guys for listening everyone. Have a good day.

Contributor

Danielle Afumbom Munang

Host